trying to figure out new year's eve plans is considerably more difficult when you're bogged down by 5 under 18-year-olds

guess who's having a nice, alcohol-free new year's even complete with possible go-kart racing and a trip to in-n-out?!

lulz.

hi there puppy

on looking back at 2010:

Although this is more of a Thanksgiving practice, I think it's even more fitting at the end of a year to make a list of things that one is thankful for. So without further ado, here is list of things I was thankful for in 2010! 

1. Cheesy, but I am thankful for love in all its forms. I am thankful for my family, for my wonderful boyfriend and for all the friends who have stuck with me through this year, despite distance and the occasional mishaps. I am thankful that I always have people who care about me and who will talk me through things when I'm having a rough day. I'm thankful that I never feel alone. 

2. I am thankful that I have graduated and am now gainfully employed! One of my resolutions this year is to stop complaining (because I'm a college grad with a job! How bad can life be?) and to also stop comparing myself to other people in a way that makes me feel bad. So what if I'll be making 1/4 of a pharmacist's starting salary? I'm pretty damn lucky to be where I am, and on top of that, I love my job. 

3. I am thankful that I am healthy, that I can walk and run and drive myself to work. 

4. I am thankful for good food in the world and that I have the means to go out and try new foods and restaurants that pique my interest. 

5. I am thankful for literature, art, music and films -- I am thankful for culture in general and that there is always something new to learn or experience because humanity never fails to create new and great things. 

6. I am thankful for you and you and you and you. 

7. Also, I am thankful for the Internet. 

Happy New Year's Eve, everyone! I hope that you are all with loved ones and that you have many things to be thankful for at the end of 2010 as well. I will be hanging out with my cousins in SoCal and sending my New Year's kisses to Kyle from a distance. 

<3

gay clubbing in the 50's

so fancy & french.

will you still need me, will you still feed me?

just drove home on the freeway for the first time at night

...following an unfamiliar route using my handy dandy gps!

i consider this a triumph, don't you?

to-do:

1. get gas
2. st. clare extended care reunionnnn!
3. come to terms with eating copious amounts of food + not exercising at all during break (it's okay! it's just a week!)
4. invest in yogurt cheese, for lactose's sake
5. "hang out" with dad (aka watch him eat dinna)
6. edit statement of intent for cousin
7. write letters to loved ones
8. read read, try to write

clearly, i have a busy day ahead of me.

mimosas & brunch!

socks and raccoon make-up:

all a part of my Christmas loot!!!! 

a positive first girl date indeed :)

"You have to sit down with yourself and ask Jesus: did God send me Kyle?"

My parents are extremely dramatic and Catholic, lulz. CRAZYCRAZYCRAZY.

7 hour car rides with my father are... interesting.

team norcal...

lost again. but whatever, guys. we'll build up our football dynasty and ONE DAY WE WILL RISE ABOVE. now excuse me while i go nurse my sore muscles, ouch.

big cheesin' on christmas eve...

AND A TINY PUPPY (unfortunately, not my christmas gift) 

road road road road

drove down to westminster on thursday, drive back up to san jose tomorrow, up to fairfield & back on tuesday (day trip with rachelle!), back down to westminster/san diego/anaheim on friday, up to san jose next sunday...

SO MUCH TIME ON THE ROAD. dramamine, be my fwend. 

so my cousin is 23 and making 128K starting salary

I feel.... SMALL.

That's definitely 4x my current salary, cool.

pre-christmas eve mass

let's just hope we don't end up going to the 3-hour one. i realize i've only eaten a banana + lots of vietnamese coffee since yesterday afternoon and i don't really feel like fainting during nativity plays. 

i simply cannot wait for our vietnamese christmas dinna. i am sure it will involve strange and exotic birds and more than one kind of rice. 

"Some people turn sad awfully young. No special reason, it seems, but they seem almost to be born that way. They bruise easier, tire faster, cry quicker, remember longer and, as I say, get sadder younger than anyone else in the world. I know, for I'm one of them." 


-Ray Bradbury (Dandelion Wine) 

padma patil from the hp movies was beaten by her brother and her father threatened to kill her :(

simply because she is muslim and was dating a hindi. this is just tragic. why isn't this a bigger deal in the media? you would think it would be.

conversations about "losing the country (aka Vietnam)" to the Chinese, lots of food & punches on the arm

YUP, I'm with my extended family for the holidays

in socal for the holidayssss

per usual! now off to read more harry potter before my cousins come over :) 

road trip bear with season 2 of flight of the conchords

thanks for forgetting this at my house, mai-chi!

"You spend too much time slouched and demoralized. Your boyfriend suggests biking. Your roommate suggests a new boyfriend. You are said to be self-mutilating and losing weight, but you continue writing. The only happiness you have is writing something new, in the middle of the night, armpits damp, heart pounding, something no one has yet seen. You have only those brief, fragile, untested moments of exhilaration when you know: you are a genius."

-Lorrie Moore, "How To Become A Writer"

I'm anxious tonight. Time to write write write, yum.

quickie movie review of "Tron"

Did anyone else find it incredibly hypocritical of Disney to make a film about the goodness of open digital rights when they seem so anti-piracy otherwise?

HYPOCRITES.

overheard phone conversations with my mom: "YES WELL THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS THAT SHE'S AT HOME NOW..."

GROAN. GOOD LORD.

lovebug i miss you!

wish i could be spending my holidays with le garcon. look how far we've come! look how much longer my hair is now! (this is how i've been tracking the chronology of the past year, evidently... with obsessive hair length measurements) 

HIPSTER ANTHEM

"Remember when people were content to be unambitious? To sleep till eleven, to just hang out with their friends? I mean they had no occupations whatsoever…maybe working a couple hours a week at a coffeeshop?"


"...ALL THE HOTT GIRLS WEAR GLASSES."

relaxing at home, eating a slim jim and reading fashion blogs

it's the good life

stripes and stripes and it's finally the holidays!!!!

yay for well-earned breaks from work. :)

i'm posting this entirely for the john mayer dude at the open mic comic

is anyone else freaked out by how old evan rachel wood looks?

 

she's like, 21 here! WHATTHEFUCK. clearly, this is what happens when you date marilyn manson. creeeepy.

well, that was awkward.

casual fridays are my favorite

decisions, decisions

apparently my best friend is moving out within the next year (pending on where they're transferring her for work) and as we've always talked about living together, i'm wondering if i should definitely jump on that cattle car.

actually, i KNOW that i should jump on that... but how to slowly introduce the idea to my parents? my mother has the WORST time letting go of my brother and i right now -- she throws fits and cries just talking about him leaving for college. when i said that i wanted to live on my own earlier in the year, she curled up on the floor and said she wanted to die. this is all rather alarming.

i feel like i shouldn't hate my life at 22-27 (or whatever time frame they want me to live at home) though. soooo. time to be selfish?

boiling crab

ate here with annie tonight after enduring a 2.5 hour wait (and i thought people exaggerated about that). totally worth it. the messiest meal i've ever had by far :) 

ps- tron is cheesy and plotless. but in a good way, like an 80s video game nerd fantasy (set to electronica) kinda way. 

wake up little susie wake up.

i'm so sleepy today. PER USUAL.

confession:

when i am truly bored and starved for internetz reading material (aka when my google reader has run dry and givemesomethingtoread.com is not living up to its name) i inevitably find myself lured back to Glamour online, reading articles such as "12 New Ways to Wear Your Hair This Winter!" or "What He Really Wants This Christmas."

I CAN'T HELP IT, OK. i love women's magazines and what am i supposed to do when all my fashion blogs have been exhausted?!

THE REAL LIFE VERSION OF A WALK TO REMEMBER.

This was sad. Terminally ill teenagers.

whatta weirdo.

i miss it. 

EDIT: real life photo!

I am glorious. 

so i now own one of these...

BEST CHRISTMAS GIFT EVER?! YESSSS. 

in which i look possessed

tea and cream puffs and a history of love. PROPER RELAXATION YES. 

MY BROTHER'S GOING TO COLLEGE

SCU and LMU thus far. Hopefully he gets into somewhere where the tuition isn't $50K per year as welll.

seriously, why do i love tragic novels about jews so much.

definitely bringing my work home this evening:

it's just like homework, i tell myself! like pulling an all-nighter in college.

all i want to do is go home and skip dinner (i've lost my appetite for the day, i think), and curl up with a good book. i was gonna say that i wanted to read some safran foer, but maybe i'll just go for his lovely wife, nicole krauss. some choice quotes from a history of love that makes me want to read it again. and again. and again:

"Even now, all possible feelings do not yet exist, there are still those that lie beyond our capacity and our imagination. From time to time, when a piece of music no one has ever written or a painting no one has ever painted, or something else impossible to predict, fathom or yet describe takes place, a new feeling enters the world. And then, for the millionth time in the history of feeling, the heart surges and absorbs the impact."

""What about you? Are you happiest and saddest right now that you've ever been?" "Of course I am." "Why?" "Because nothing makes me happier and nothing makes me sadder than you."


"My brother and I used to play a game. I'd point to a chair. "THIS IS NOT A CHAIR," I'd say. Bird would point to the table. "THIS IS NOT A TABLE." "THIS IS NOT A WALL," I'd say. "THAT IS NOT A CEILING." We'd go on like that. "IT IS NOT RAINING OUT." "MY SHOE IS NOT UNTIED!" Bird would yell. I'd point to my elbow. "THIS IS NOT A SCRAPE." Bird would lift his knee. "THIS IS ALSO NOT A SCRAPE!" "THAT IS NOT A KETTLE!" "NOT A CUP!" "NOT A SPOON!" "NOT DIRTY DISHES!" We denied whole rooms, years, weathers. Once, at the peak of our shouting, Bird took a deep breath. At the top of his lungs, he shrieked: "I! HAVE NOT! BEEN! UNHAPPY! MY WHOLE! LIFE!" "But you're only seven," I said."

"Once upon a time there was a boy who loved a girl, and her laughter was a question he wanted to spend his whole life answering."

...yeah, so basically the krauss-foer family writes the kind of books ive spent my whole life waiting to read.

THAT DOG SUIT. HILARIOUS ALREADY.

I will undoubtedly want to see this show when it airs.

i want to watch so many movies that look super scary to me:

in memorium, black swan, to name a few.

some early new year's resolutions:

1. read & write more often
2. patience
3. asserting my adulthood (aka guiding my mother through the difficult process of watching her kids grow up) 
4. less soda at the workplace (i shouldn't give into the ubiquitous office diet coke habits) 
5. gym gym gym. use that 2 year membership! 
6. plot my escape from the homestead -- steadily save up towards it
7. not hurt ponyo anymore

why ponyo is the perfect name for my car:

because this is exactly how i view it every time i drive it. BEBE PONYO, YOU ALWAYS GREET ME WITH SUCH ENTHUSIASM. IWUVYOU.

my car (now officially named PONYO) shall be ready tonight with its paint all fixed up!

as for the cracked rear light, my dad's just going to seal it with some glue...

but yay! repairs! goodbye last paycheck, hello unscuffed car! 

“Why didn’t I learn to treat everything like it was the last time? My greatest regret was how much I believed in the future.”

-Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close


I'm going to dig this book up for a reread soon.

if i had lots of expendable income...

 

I would own a Spirit Hood. Yeah, definitely, I would. 

"I used to be self conscious about my height, but then I thought, fuck that, I'm Harry Potter."

-Dan Radcliffe


Lulz.

fast forward 2 years, please

i can't wait to be out on my own again. this pseudo-high school (except WORSE) thing that i'm going through in living with the parentals is... interesting.

currently watching: snow falling on cedars

i remember being SO into this book in high school, mostly because forbidden romance = fascination back in the teenage angst years. (except for that summer reading book, the thorn birds, the one about the priest and the little girl -- what WAS that?!). loved it so much it made it onto my fb favorite books section.

I have multiple pieces of writing about people turning into foxes, apparently... a new poem!

Winter’s Shift

1.

In the waning sunset, at the cottage by the sea

our fingers and toes lightly salted

I am thinking of you and standing by you,

missing you in lone contemplation.

2.

I am alone always, a creature retreating

into a foxhole, coated in frost and hush.

In my mind it is quiet. You would be surprised

at how these words fall so gently, like icicles on snow.

3.

There was a sailboat in the dead of winter as we slept,

that wedged itself into the crags, splintering its hull.

As the sun rose, coloring the sky like a bruise,

we searched for survivors, finding no one.

4.

I am feeling the old strain on my skin again,

the fur and hackles rising in me, and I know

I must leave. It is winter, and my head is clear

and crisp, and this wooden home is too warm.

5.

Follow me into the woods, in your little boat

struggling against December gales.

I see your lantern searching for the flick of my tail

and I am waiting, in a den I have made. For me, for us.

hp, book 2

I'm chugging through them slowwwly.

finally saw body worlds vital with kyle today:

it was pretty crazy. i think seeing the eyelashes and eyebrows on the figures freaked me out the most b/c it alerted me to the fact that they were once human. it was really cool though; i'm glad i saw it. 

FINALLY got my last paycheck from the campaign job

...now I can pay for repairs on my car.

Oh life, you are just a delight today. 

first booboo on my car :(

i'm sad. but mostly embarrassed that i backed into a sedentary pole in a parking garage.

QUEER PROM (aka my first prom)

I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL YOU'RE HERE WITH ME BEBE. 

<3 

put phones on "night," lock door, enter time into the system:

DONE DONE DONE.

now to go home, get my hair trimmed, eat delicious foods, and relaaax.

on my way to work this morning, the radio station played "soul sister" and "teenage dream" back to back

ARE YOU MISSING GLEE AS MUCH AS I AM, RADIO DJS?! I THINK SOOOOO.

Le sigh. 

One of my favorite Christmas songs, as performed by my absolute favez Glee couple! Besides Quinn + ANYONE, I mean. That new blond boy + Quinn have the potential to be pretty cute, I think, judging from their duet. WE SHALL SEE. OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL FEBRUARY TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXTTTT.

i need to get a puppy or something.

something that i can come to after work that just loves me unconditionally. that'd be cool, except for all the house training and such that i'd inevitably have to go through.

maybe when i get a promotion.

(that, btw, is what i tack on to the end of all my "future purpose" statements -- the iphone, the ipad, trips to whereverz, hundred dollar winter boots... WHEN I GET A PROMOTION, GUYZ, I'LL HAVE IT ALL. LOVE, TRAVEL & FANCY FOOTWEAR).

well. SOMEONE'S marketing team is taking advantage of culturally-relevant news...

This is in such poor taste.

I am ready for "Christmas break," which unfortunately does not exist in the working world. :(

memoriez memoriez

I don't even like cats. Miss you boyzzzz!

ugly christmas sweater day

i look like a teacher. no offense, mom. 

my macbook is making weird crackling noises

i'm a little disconcerted by this. i hope it's not a hardware problem. i'll probably try to take it to the genius bar today and see what they can do about it.

in other news, IT'S FRIDAY.

in other other news, IT'S DAMN EARLY RIGHT NOW. i want to go back to bed.

KYLE VISITS TOMORROW

I'm so excited. This week has been neverending. But good things: I learned how to drive on the freeway, I finished my Christmas shopping and I'm getting into the swing of things at work.

But still... SO TIRED. SO READY FOR RELAXATION.

why is this happening.

essentially, i've resigned myself to the fact that i am most certainly NOT receiving that last paycheck+expense report from the campaign job (HELLO PEOPLE, I PAID YOUR INTERNET BILL) anytime during this christmas shopping season when i need it most.

THNX, LOCAL GOV'T. YOU SUCK. GIVE ME MY 600+ BUCKS NOW.

neveragainneveragain.

creepy

I had a terrible, long restless night in which I had dreams of being stalked by a cat that kept scratching me until I was covered in red bumps (because I'm allergic to kitties). Then I woke up and couldn't stop sneezing. COINCIDENCE?

99% certain that my mom got me a snuggie for Christmas

I am actually pretty damn excited about this. CLASSIC LOUNGE IN FRONT OF THE TELEVISION ATTIRE, COME TO ME.

Today we had a white elephant gift exchange in the office and these socks were part of my winnings. I shall save the Giants temporary tattoos for another occasion.

Excuse how gross/sweaty I look -- I just came home from the gym. I've gotten so good at going, lately, probably because it's easy for me to stop by on the way home! Plus, I've been slammed to the point of anxiety lately at work, so sometimes it's necessary for me to get those endorphins going.

stress eating these like crazy

i swear i've had about 20.

Disparate thoughts because I am tired and a little loopy:

1. Whoaohoh, there goes 30% of my already low income. Hello, taxes.
2. I found my poems from that Love and Desire course we took... three years ago? and promptly cracked up. Oh, youth and bad writing.
3. I am really excited that the current Happy Meal toy at McDonald's is a Sanrio wristwatch. I may have to go get one soon.
4. I'm craving pancakes, per usual.
5. I desperately need to get back on the literary train. Reading + writing. I'm thinking some Murakami on the elliptical tonight.
6. I have finally ventured out onto the freeway and it's not really as bad as I anticipated. Except when it's raining. Then it's just as bad (if not worse).
7. I am frazzled/overwhelmed to death. Is it really Christmas next week? SO SOON?! Am I going to have to potentially work from home anyway? Who knows!
8. I would like a puppy.
9. Reminder to self: post office this weekend.
10. We're having an ugly Christmas sweater day at work Friday. This delights me to no end. Pictures to come.

READY FOR CHRISTMASSSSS

I just need to make a trip to the post office this weekend to send off all my gifts/cards to loved ones <3. PS: I'm 99% sure that the Santa gift bag was featured in the Christmas episode of Glee. Twas underneath the tree, I'm telling you. 

Google laptop packaging:

So even though the laptop's received horrible reviews across the board, at least the packaging's cute?

nerds of the world:

i bet you want these. 

to continue the theme of hollywood ruining all our favorite fairy tales:

oh good god, when will they stop?! VANESSA HUDGENS IN A BEAUTY AND THE BEAST REMAKE?!

so i have discovered a new favorite scent to wear

my first foray into scents in a long while because i'm picky about perfumes. of course, i have picked a nice manly scent, namely creed's vetiver, which is APPARENTLY the preferred scent of our late president, JFK. BECAUSE, OBVIOUSLY, I EXUDE CLASS AND MANLINESS. 

in all seriousness though, it's pretty light -- almost citrusy. i like it! i shall start wearing it regularly. it's about time i develop a signature scent. isn't that one of those things your'e supposed to do to be remembered/keep your man thinking of you whenever he smells that familiar odor? except now i shall confuse kyle into thinking of me whenever he runs into men who wear my new cologne. oh dear. 

killer groupies?

so basically, people are crazy.

urban outfitters bridal, what.

hipster brides, oh dear. i can't wait for this line to come out. i hope everything is, like, too hip for words.

ITS TOO EARLY

AND ALSO I HAVE A SORE THROAT. MUST GARGLE SALT WATER IMMEDIATELY. NOOOO.

guess what finally came in the mail?!

home and sleepy after a weekend trip to visit kyle and his family. twas far too short, but aren't they alway? 

A Very Potter Musical starring Darren Criss from Glee as HP:

WHATTTTTTTTTTT.

always a goodie

Oh you know, just hanging out at home in my pajamas, listening to Justin Bieber covers in Vietnamese.

look, it's missed connections for the college crowd.

(some idiot at shields happily misusing the interwebs) 

here you go, davis-ites. 

$30 of bubble mailers, wrapping paper, gift bags and gift tags from Target:

YUP it must be Christmastime.

please?

baby on iphone blanket

 

awwwwwwwwww

cranky.

Me: "So Google's new laptops aren't going to have a caps lock key. They're saying it will improve the quality of comments on the Internet or something. What grammar trolls, huh?"

My brother: "WHAT?! NO! BUT HOW AM I EVER GOING TO YELL AT PEOPLE ONLINE AGAIN?!"


...GOOD POINT. DON'T TAKE AWAY THE CAPS LOCK KEY, GOOGLE.

watching hp7 (pt 1) this weekend with kyle so i can stay relevant in the hp fandom:

EMMA WATSON IS SO BEAUTIFUL, OMG. 

BABY IT'S COLD OUTSIDE

"Well look at that. It's four o'clock in the afternoon and your hair is still perfectly coiffed."

I like the word "coiffed." People should use it more often.

getting an itch in my throat

oh noez. i should get back on taking that vitamin c every day :(

can't wait to see my cousins for christmas :)

two tidbits of gaming "news":

1. i played with the kinect for the first time yesterday. IT WAS SO COOL. no i'm serious. the sensors are really great (though it's a bit hard to play 2 player in a limited space -- you really have to clear out your living room to get the full experience) and somehow, the device knew to change the avatar from a boy to a girl when my brother and i switched out. CREEPY. but amazing. too bad i don't have an x-box already; otherwise that would be my next paycheck purchase. maybe.

2. the new psp2 is rumored to be as powerful as the current ps3. thoughts? skeptics? i'm not that big on handheld gaming devices, but that sounds pretty crazy.

GOOD MORNING THINGS

CINEARTS IS PLAYING BLACK SWAN STARTING THIS FRIDAY. HALLELUJAH. i shall most certainly watch it next week, once i return from my trip to davisland/fairfield.

i just saw the sun rise for the first time in...forever. it was pretty. now, back to worrrk.

because i plan to wake at 6 a.m. tomorrow and i clearly failed to sleep at 9-10 p.m. like i should have, i think i will treat myself to sugar-filled holiday "coffee" tomorrow and perhaps a brief target trip, if i can fit it in.

ILOVETARGET. favorite store 4lyf.

oy, dark days.

i cannot wait until there is SUNLIGHT when i leave work so that i do not feel that i spent all day in the dark, and also that as soon as work is over, it is time to sleep. IT IS NOT TIME TO SLEEP, DAMN IT. i need to curate things like hobbies and quirks and fun areas of expertise. i am young yet, after all. i still have time to become worldly and well-read. OR DO I?!

i'm a little intimidated by all the people who have step class and dance class and mba classes after work. how do you do it? can i do that too? first off, i need to start reading/writing again, and then maybe i'll feel better about how short and uneventful my days are. baby steps.

sigh, it's been a long three weeks

This is my winter song.
December never felt so wrong,
'cause you're not where you belong
inside my arms.

----

See you Friday night, darlin'!

soooo zooey deschanel has a tumblr now.

gooooood morning

i'm so sleepy. also, my wardrobe = nothing but work appropriate lbds these days. 

I WANT TO SEE THIS SO BADLY WHY ISN'T IT PLAYING ANYWHERE NEAR MEEE

dear campaign job:

plz give me my last paycheck + the reimbursement for your goddamn energy bill already. my checking account is dipping into dangerously low territory what with this christmas season and all that.

sexy holiday lingerie piano by cup size, whaa?

Happy Holidays, guys, I'm gonna go pack my gym things for tomorrow's after work workout now.

mai-chi and teresa in polly pocket land

pres bread (with the spicy cream cheese) + christmas shopping + cinnamon bun ice cream (2 like its for $5 at cold stones!) + tv-viewing with short attention spans + calico critters obsessions + polly pocket nostalgia + engagement ring browsing = a saturday night with my best fwend.

naturally.

all i want for christmas

is to be warm. oh, more blankets/space heaters, please.

OHMYGOD, Taio Cruz's "Dynamite" reimagined by Jews...

Happy Hanukkah, my friends.

perfectttt engagement rings :)

My mom will hate all of these. OHWELL.